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tim says:
Sunday, February 3, 2013 - 5:31 PM CST

Superbowl XLVII

Greetings! We are liveblogging Superbowl XLVII and rating commercials! Ratings range from -5 Chinchillas to 5 Chinchillas, where -5 is bad and 5 is good, because of course more chinchillas is better.

Predictions:
tim: Bearss 347, Ravens and 49ers put together: 18

1st commercial break
================
Century 21
Guy choking on something? I wasn't paying attention
-4 Chinchillas

Something?? I missed this too
-5 Chinchillas

CBS shameless self-promotion
Automatic -5 Chinchillas

The coin toss determines who will win the game. Baltimore calls heads. It is heads. Baltimore will win the game.


2nd commercial break
================
People in a museum and driving around and bikers and Hyundai sonata and ostrich! and robot suits and human bowling and saber-toothed tiger
-3 Chinchillas

Kickoff to 49ers
Andy is instead watching a Final Fantasy VII Speedrun (much more important and way cooler)
49ers punt

Ravens get a touchdown, extra point is good.

3rd commercial break
================
Budweister black crown
Beer is not actually black. Flagrant false advertising! Also MillerCoors is going to have something with deceptively black

M&M gets attention from ladies
-2 Chinchillas

Guy going to prom or something by himself and drives an Audi. Parks in principal only spot. Ends up kissing prom queen and gets black eye. How empowering!
-1 Chinchillas

kickoff to 49ers
1st beer: Three Floyds Zombie Dust

4th commercial break
================
Really tough little kids because of car?
1 Chinchilla

Model kissing nerdy kid
2 Chinchillas

Goat eats a lot of Doritos, guy is annoyed by crunching sound. Goat gets mad when a guy hides the Doritos and tries to sell the goat
3 Chinchillas

Andy: "in other news, someone broke a Pokémon world record today" 3:52 to finish the game?

CBS in-game commercial type-thing (shameless self-promotion)
-8 Chinchillas

49ers kick field goal
Score: 7 to 3

4th commercial break:
================
Guy gives Pepsi Next to parents at a party
-4 Chinchillas

Amy Poehler at Best Buy or something? I can't hear anything
-4 Chinchillas

Budweiser Black Crown
Lady walks across bar
-4 Chinchillas

Big Bang Theory people wearing football jerseys
CBS shameless self-promotion
Automatic -5 Chinchillas

Kickoff to the Ravens
Danny: If that was Marcus Kreuger it would be 14-3

5th Commercial break
================
Oz remake trailer
-3 Chinchillas

People being good, Coca-cola
OLD -5 Chinchillas

People fighting in library! Everyone is whispering! Police officer whispers into speaker thingy
4 Chinchilas

Danny: Oh Joe Flacco! Oh my gosh someone get a fire extinguisher out there
Big pass to the someone on the Ravens, missed touchdown pass later

6th commercial break
================
Fast and Furious 6
The Rock in a movie and lots of cars crashing and a tank runs over a car. CAR FLIPPING, and
David: That car can't go that fast! C6 Spyder? That's terrible!
Mike: Fast and Furious wins. Best commercial ever


Penny from Big Bang Theory is a witch, and talking squirrels
Car flies beyond clouds (Garth: I'm pretty sure they would die)
0 Chinchillas?

CBS shameless self-promotion: HIMYM
Automatic -5 Chinchillas

Ravens punt

2nd beer: Bell's Hopslam

7th commercial break
================
Guys get doritos and wear dresses and makeup
Much worse than the previous one
-1 Chinchilla

Calvin Klien with muscular guy wearing underwear
Mark: They spent 4 million dollars to show some guy's junk on TV
Ken: WHat I like about this commercial is it's so relatable
Mike: click to see!
-4 Chinchillas

Guy puts wolf on table, lady takes it, wolf mother walks in to scare lady ... into buying car?
-2 Chinchillas

I'm not really paying attention to the game at all
Andy is doing a Final Fantasy 6 character quiz. I know two charters: chocobo and Mog (actually I said Moogle). He got 24 of 30!

Ravens QB draw for relatively easy touchdown. Extra point is good.
Score: 14-3 (Ravens)

8th commercial break:
================
Guy gets dirty sock and grass. Walks by Bud Light to go to bar. Stevie Wonder in a suit
Guy makes Stevie Wonder voodoo doll? Superstition!
David: "He's like come closer, I can't see you"
0 Chinchillas

GoDaddy. Your big idea. I couldn't hear what they were saying
-4 Chinchillas?

CBS shameless self-promotion
Automatic -5 Chinchillas

Game on! Game off!

9th Commercial break
================
Another Star Trek movie. Into Darkness
Matt: Kaaaaaahhhhhn!
-4 Chinchillas

The Rock wants milk for kids while aliens invade. He punches an alien without looking!
Garth: What a horrible person
0 Chinchillas

Hyundai passes lots of dangerous and slimy vehicles because it as turbo
Fireworks truck on fire, etc.
Pretty good for a car commercial!
2 Chinchillas

Fight! Fight! Fight!
Mark: Shank him! Shank him!
David: Who let the dogs out?

Andy: The Baltimore Ravens are on a pretty good start to do what the Baltimore Orioles should have done, which is win the World Series

Sandi: There have been 3 fights in this game so far

Ravens pass almost picked! Justin Tucker lines up for the field goal... FAKE!!! He runs with it but no good!! Should have been a pass. Fake punt/field goal pass is the most effective move in any playbook.
Turnover on downs
Matt: A+

VW white guy talks with Jamacian accent and tries to cheer people up. After they go for a drive in his Beetle, everyone talks with a Jamacian accent because it's the power of German engineering. Lesson: German engineering makes people talk with Jamacian accents.
(I saw this at work on Friday but it's new for the Superbowl?)
1 Chinchilla

CBS shameless self-promotion
Automatic -5 Chinchillas

Ravens ALMOST intercept ball

3rd beer: Blue Moon Proximity (wheat ale brewed with the juice of sauvignon blanc grapes)
Not that bad, actually! It's not rated well but we believe it is the "Blue Moon" factor.

10th Commercial Break
=================
GLITTER CANNON AT COWBOY
Coca-cola
2 Chinchillas

Jared Subway fresh fit meals
-5 Chinchillas

Parrot (or some other bird) on cycle! Except it's CBS shameless self-promotion
-4 Chinchillas (+1 for bird)

Punt to Ravens. Guy has trouble catching the ball
Offensive pass interference not called

11th Commercial Break
=================
People from retirement home partying and lighting fireworks at doorsteps. Tattoos. ...Taco Bell?
Live Mas. "fun." song played in Spanish
0 Chinchillas?

Cheetah chasing prey is tackled by guy
Danny: This commercial is awesome except that it's a Sketchers commercial because people don't run in Sketchers
Rachel: The deer blinked at him and he blinked at the deer!
3 Chinchillas

CBS shameless self-promotion
-5 Chinchillas

Ravens guy catches ball, rolls, and then is able to get up and run into the end zone. Extra point is good.
21-3 Ravens

12th commercial break
=================
Lincoln. Guy playing drums in car factory. Other things?
-4 Chinchillas

Sandi is having Blue Moon Valencia

David: You know that camera that's flying around? What if they attached a guy in a cloud with a stick and the camera on it. That would be awesome.

13th commercial break:
=================
Football evolving over time. Includes Bearss!
David: When is the last time Devin [Hester] saw the end zone?
Ken: That commercial.
Is this old?
-4 Chinchillas (+1 for Bearss)

21 seconds left in the half. 49ers field goal.
Score: 21-6

14th commercial break:
=================
CBS shameless self-promotion and Grammys, CBS shameless self-promotion
-10 Chinchillas

Underthedome.com
-5 Chinchillas

Honda Accord LX Sedan
tim might buy this car
-4 Chinchillas (+1 for tim might buying it)

Old guy with rotary phone orders Jimmy John's
-3 Chinchillas


HALFTIME (we are taking a break from commercials until halftime is over)
tim: Wait, it's halftime already? I thought there were a few seconds left
Andy: I hardly know the score

HALFTIME BEYONCE/DESTINY'S CHILD FIRST SONG PREDICTIONS - list of songs
Andy: Bootylicious. Wait, no, I'm going to say Independent Women
Ken: Naughty Girl
Tim: (after looking at a list) Survivor
Karen: Tim copied me
Mike: Single Ladies
Matt: doesn't know any of the songs
Karen: (later) Ooh, Say My Name could be good too
Mike: Jay Z comes out with Crazy In Love

Andy: Should I open another one?
Tim: I was thinking, "You know, it's been a while since I've had a beer"

4th beer: Southern Tier Pumking (courtesy of Sandi & Matt)

HALFTIME: first song is Crazy In Love. Nobody wins!
Andy: She's no Bruce [Springsteen]

SPARKLER GUITAR OUT BOTH ENDS
Athena: And they burn Beyonce's face off

Ken: This is as risqué as it's been since Janet Jackson
Garth: It kind of reminds me of a James Bond movie

Andy: The first Destiny's Child song is Bootylicious...

Rachel (Kicki): How many songs is this girl going to sing? I'm going to dance to all of them!

Andy: These songs don't really pump me up for a Superbowl like 10th Avenue Freezeout does

To watch later: Single Ladies / Water Curses

Sandi's favorite Single Ladies video

Andy: It seriously feels like they have enough time to recover from injuries from halftime to when they start playing again

Game on! Kickoff to Ravens, returned for a touchdown. Extra point is good.
Score: 27-6 Ravens
David: "ooh he's deep too, that's like 285 yards"

Lights went out for some reason!?
David: I always knew Louisiana couldn't do it

Andy: The worst thing is that the power outage at the Superbowl is going to be a bigger story than anything else that's happening

15th Commercial Break
=================
Iron Man
-4 Chinchillas

Century 21
-5 Chinchillas

Guy on fire and then elephant legs and colored smoke, and jackknifing truck turns into rubber duckies
-1 Chinchillas

etrade Baby with pile of money and going to space even though babies can't trade stocks
-5 Chinchillas

CBS shameless self-promotion
-5 Chinchillas

Half of the power is still out...!! It's still plenty lit to play. Come on, guys.
Announcer: "Nobody is in danger... of any kind"

16th Commercial Break (because power is out)
==================
Subway people can't pronounce February (don't forget the R!)
-4 Chinchillas

Guys push Bud Light around on recliner to Stevie Wonder in white suit
"It's only weird if it doesn't work" ?? I still can't hear much
-4 Chinchillas

NFLEVOLUTION.COM
-5 Chinchillas

Stadium is still at 50% power...
People making Christmas Vacation references

17th commercial break
=================
CBS shameless self-promotion Super Monday promo
Automatic -5 Chinchillas

Announcers talking a lot

dodododododo

dodododododo

Lights are back but people aren't playing yet...

Mike: So far I must say I'm dissapointed

dodododododo

Danny: This is what happens when you do it in a dome.
Garth: Every Superbowl in Lambo.

Game on!
49ers punt
Ravens get some yards but punt

18th commercial break
=================
Subway people can't pronounce February AGAIN
-6 Chinchillas

Bud Light guys with recliner AGAIN
Sandi: I really think the recliner in this commercial is the one we ordered
-6 Chinchillas

Generic NFL commercial "Forever Friday" even though it's Sunday
-5 Chinchillas

Lots of missed passes

19th commercial break
==================
Guy fights sharks to bring girl to shore. NOTHING BEATS AN ASTRONAUT. AXE APOLLO.
3 Chinchillas

MiO FIT with
-4 Chinchillas

NFLEVOLUTION
-5 Chinchillas

David Letterman throwing ball to kid, saying he could make it to the Superbowl... was actually talking to Indianapolis Colts QB next to kid
0 Chinchillas

49ers touchdown. Extra point is good


20th commercial break
==================
Guy makes squeaky marks and kicks tire of car. Robot car model beats him up
1 Chinchilla

Guy tries to take shirt off sleeping girl as cat watches. It's his about time you had a favorite shirt
-2 Chinchillas

Gangnam style "crackin style" pistachio nuts
Ken: [something about people doing this knowing that they're doing the macarena]
Automatic -5 Chinchillas

Kickoff to Ravens
Ravens punt from inside the end zone, good return by 49ers (to 20 yard line)
Rushing touchdown 49ers.
Score: 28-19 Ravens

21st commercial break:
==================
Jimmy Fallon / Lincolnwith alpacas and alien movie and wedding www.steerthescript.com

Guy has yellow girl underwear at laundromat talking to girl. Speed stick

Beck's Sapphire. Singing fish singing to red gem because everyone likes CG
tim: Sapphires aren't red, they're BLUE!!

Extra point is good
Score: 28-20 Ravens

22nd commercial break:
==================
Clydesdale training with "Landslide" by Fleedwood Mac. Guy watches Clydesdale in parade or something pulling a cart thingy. Horse later follows guy driving away.
Athena: It did everything I wanted it to do. He gave the horse away... the horse came back...
-3 Chinchillas

CBS shameless self-promotion
Automatic -5 Chinchillas

Ravens fumble recovered by 49ers
Danny: This is all because of the blackout. This is all a conspiracy.

49ers miss touchdown pass and miss field goal! Flag....!?!? Replay the down.
Field goal is good.
Score: 28-23 Ravens

No commercial break after the score, wow!
Kickoff to Ravens.

49ers have outscored the Ravens 17-0 since the power outage. shocked
Face mask penalty not called!

End of 3rd quarter

23rd commercial break:
==================
Leon Sandcastle puts on wig and is drafted
-2 Chinchillas

Guy hit in head by apple and gets a Redd's apple ale
-4 Chinchillas

AT&T U-VERSE OLD COMMERCIAL
Automatic -5 Chinchillas

Technology advancements and then Honda Civic
-4 Chinchillas

Another guy gets hit in the head by an apple and then orders a Redd's Apple Ale
Garth: Are they saying you have to have brain damage to order that?
SAME IDEA -5 Chinchillas

Ravens at 5 yard line, no touchdown. Go for field goal, which is good.
Score: 31-23

24th commercial break (I keep typing "breal" instead of "break"):
==================
Paul Harvey. Cow. Church. Farm. Farmer.
David: Sounds like a Jim Jones sermon.
...it's a Dodge commercial?
It's a pretty long commercial, too.
David: Your ticket to heaven is to get a Dodge.
-4 Chinchillas

CBS shameless self-promotion with Lucy Liu
Automatic -5 Chinchillas

Kickoff to 49ers
49ers touchdown. 2pt conversion is no good.
Score: 31-29 Ravens

25th commercial break:
==================
Geico characters going to space and parachuting back
-5 Chinchillas

(something?)
-5 Chinchillas

NFLEVOLUTION
Automatic -5 Chinchillas

Kickoff to Ravens
Ravens get 1st down as measured, 49ers challenge the spot

26th commercial break:
==================
Guy spills salsa on his jersey... Joe Montana-shaped stain
Montanaland
Lady washes jersey and says "Go Ravens"
3 Chinchillas

Sodastream OLD COMMERCIAL
Automatic -5 Chinchillas

CBS shameless self-promotion
Automatic -5 Chinchillas

49ers challenge reverses call. Ravens get 1st down later.

Andy is playing MLB The Show on PS3 across the room and not watching the game at all.
Two 49ers were offsides during a play... one of the penalties was declined.

Ravens go for 38 yard field goal, which is good.
Score: 34-29 Ravens

27th commercial break:
==================
Mercedes-Benz. Guy almost makes deal with Willam Dafoe to get the car but then sees price ($29,900) and does not. Willam Dafoe is the devil... gasp!
0 Chinchillas

CBS shameless self-promotion
Automatic -5 Chinchillas

Ravens almost get a field goal during kickoff. It SHOULD count!
49ers miss big pass... ohhhhhhh!!!
Good run by 49ers to the 7-ish yard line

28th commercial break:
==================
Samsung Galaxy pitches by Seth Rogan and Paul Rudd
Lebron James tablet cameo
2 Chinchillas

CBS shameless self-promotion
Automatic -5 chinchillas

49ers (on 5 yard line) call timeout right before play clock runs out
Not sure if play has holding penalty during attempted touchdown pass. No call. Turnover!
Ravens do not get 1st down, hold ball in end zone to run out clock and get a safety.

Danny: You know what needs to happen? Professional croquet.

Drop kickoff to 49ers, time runs out during the return.
Ravens win 34-31 (the coin toss was right, as expected).

Confetti angel!

29th BONUS commercial break
==================
OLD Allstate
-5 Chinchillas

NAPA know how in a jar, keychains
-5 Chinchilas

Coca-cola
-5 Chinchillas

American Family insurance
-5 Chinchillas

Guy needs to look for a van and goes to CarMax
-5 Chinchillas

Thanks to Andy and Melisa for hosting and thanks for everyone enjoying this with us that wasn't here! Hopefully there will be much more exciting things coming from OaE this year! Go Bearss! Exclamation points!!
-tim

tim says:
Monday, January 21, 2013 - 8:47 PM CST

Happy Squirrel Appreciation Day!

You don't know how to celebrate Squirrel Appreciation Day? Well, here are seven ways.
-tim

tim says:
Saturday, December 15, 2012 - 11:25 PM CST

Squirrel Week Fall 2012: Day 6

Well, finals week is over and college students can relax for a while...

20120924-235315 (91k image)

source: cuteoverload.com

-tim
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tim says:
Friday, December 14, 2012 - 11:23 PM CST

Squirrel Week Fall 2012: Day 5

It's Friday! Everyone knows that Friday is pizza night, even squirrels. GIGANTO GALLERY OF SQUIRRELS EATING PIZZA

67USE (107k image)

-tim
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tim says:
Wednesday, December 12, 2012 - 11:30 PM CST

Squirrel Week Fall 2012: Day 3

Today marks not only an amazing date game date (12=12=12), but it's also a mark of finals week being on its way to completion. Drink up me hearties, yo ho!

article-2113542-121E5A4F000005DC-964_634x436 (63k image)

but wait, there's more!

-tim


tim says:
Wednesday, December 12, 2012 - 12:42 AM CST

Squirrel Week Fall 2012: Day 2

Wait wait waitwaitwaitwaitwait...

298671_449132545129380_518722034_n1-225x400.jpeg (38k file)

Squirrel with hat!?

The squirrel whisperer.

-tim

tim says:
Monday, December 10, 2012 - 11:43 PM CST

Squirrel Week Fall 2012: Day 1

It's squirrel week! Good luck on your finals, college students! More and betterer words later.

squirrel-fence-walker (115k image)

-tim