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A review of SUPERBOWL XXXIX Commercials (in the category of Television)
by: tim

Superbowl XXXIX Ads, Game Summary (Posted LIVE)

Yes, it's that wonderful time of year again. A true symbol of American culture. The time of the year where we watch commercials and might catch a peek of a football game in between.
Commercials are rated on a scale of -5 to 5 Chinchillas, where 5 Chinchillas is good. Let the game begin!!

-National Anthem is sung by a bunch of military people or something-

-----Commercial Break #1-----

Triple X 2 Starring Ice Cube
-4 Chinchillas

Verizon Wireless
Monkeys talk on bananas
2 Chinchillas

Blockbuster Video
Man backs out of driveway to get movies out of mailbox
-5 Chinchillas

Pizza Hut
Miss Piggy flies around whilst holding to dipping pizza
-1 Chinchillas

Daytona 500
-4 Chinchillas

American Idol
guys watching teevee
-5 Chinchillas
--------------------

Guys go on field for coin toss. The coin toss is very important because it determines the winner of the game. #37 calls heads. It is tails. Philadelphia won the toss. Philadelphia is going to win the game. They choose to receive.

----Commercial Break #2----
Ford Mustand
Guy is frozen in Ford Mustang because the car is too cold
-3 Chinchillas
--------------------

I like neat logo thing on the field that says the down and to go.

There's already a challenege.

----Commercial Break #3----
Bud Light
Plane driver jumps out of plane for Bud Light
3 Chinchillas

People have giant contact lenses over them
-4 Chinchillas

Constantine preview
NOT NEW
AUTOMATIC -5 CHINCHILLAS
--------------------

Guy determined down, no fumble. No charge of timeout. Eagles still have the ball. Eagles punt.
Someone on teevee mentions Purdue. Patriots punt.

----Commercial Break #4----
diet Pepsi
various people buy pepsi trucks
-2 Chinchillas

Guy pops gum on face
-1 Chinchillas

People dancing funny
-4 Chinchillas

Halftime show ad!!
1 Chinchilla

DOLPHIN HOLDING FOOTBALL
football player says "is that real?"
--------------------

Jon points out that #21 is Gay. It says Gay on the back of his shirt. Eagles punt.

----Commercial Break #5----
the Pacifier

FedEx Commercial
Burt Reynolds gets kicked in the groin by a bear AND MORE
JOURNEY
5 Chinchillas

Something about Bud Light
-5 Chinchillas
--------------------

5 minutes have elapsed in game clock. Andy orders a pizza. Predicted ready time: 1 hour and 15 minutes from now.

----Commercial Break #6----
Space shuttle other vehicle is Volvo
locks car from space
-4 Chinchillas

Women and gay guy look at guy drinking pepsi
-4 Chinchillas

godaddy.com
girl's strap breaks
-3 Chinchillas
--------------------

Guy gets grass in helmet. Someone gets Patriowned. Big pass by the Eagles. Guy makes flying motion with arms. Penalty against NE to top it off.

----Commercial Break #7----
Guys send pic of them at football game
guy sends pic of other guy's girlfriend back
0 Chinchillas

The Longest Yard
good original
0 Chinchilla

Guy finds Lincoln chicken select
girl eats it
1 Chinchilla

Simpsons Halftime show
flying toaster!
0 Chinchillas
--------------------

Ball intercepted by Patriots.

----Commercial Break #8----
Many heros angry for lady losing credit card or something
Features Captain America, Spiderman, and Underdog!
1 Chinchilla

Ameriquest
Guy says store is getting robbed while sticking hand in coat
Store clerks mace him and beat him up heh heh
3 Chinchillas

Bob the baby talks for Quiznos
-5 Chinchillas
--------------------

2 minute warning. Philadelphiowned. Patriots punt. We time travel back to 1960. HUUUGE pass ... missed. Fumble by Eagles taken by New England. Patriowned. 1st Quarter over.

----Commercial Break #9----
Stupid Will Smith movie ... Hitched
NOT NEW
-5 Chinchillas

mbna
Gladice Knight dives into end zone
at least she knew how to finish
-4 Chinchillas

Honda truck drives in mountains
-5 Chinchillas

Shameless self-promotion by FOX for 24
-5 Chinchillas
--------------------

American Idol Commerical DURING game
-5 Chinchillas
Long pass by Eagles. 5 minutes elapsed in 2nd quarter. Touchdown by Eagles. Extra point good.

----Commercial Break #10----
Giraffe ... and other animals go to barn to visit Clydesdales.
Pig hopes to not be late
-4 Chinchillas

Guys lose baseball over fence
girl throws Lays potato chip and they get things back
dog, car, MC Hammer
MC Hammer thrown back
2 Chinchillas

steamy car windows... guys eating food!!
-5 Chinchillas

--------------------

Nothing happens.

----Commercial Break #11----
Music coming from pepsi bottles
PEPSIS DO NOT MAKE MUSIC
-4 Chinchillas

BeCool movie
-5 Chinchillas

In-Action Heros
Mama's Boy
-5 Chinchillas
--------------------

7 minutes have elapsed in 2nd quarter. Possible fumble by Patriots, confustion ensues. Fumble declared real. Challenge expected.

----Commercial Break #12----
Another music Pepsi commerial
-6 Chinchillas

Caddy shot out of tunnel like a gun
-4 Chinchillas

Halftime Show Commercial
-5 Chinchillas
--------------------

Fumble challenged. Knee determined down. New England gets ball back, no charge for timeout.
Tim says: man they're gonna get... a... score. Immediately following, NE fumbles and lose the ball to the Eagles. Good band. Announcers say that there is a new football every snap. Eagles punt.

----Commercial Break #13----
Monkeys in SUITS in office
0 Chinchillas

Tacobell chicken enchilada grilled stuffed burrito
Jon determines it being "no yo quiero taco bell"
-5 Chinchillas

Talking bird prevents guy from buying drink for girl
-5 Chinchillas

American Idol
-5 Chinchillas
--------------------

Andy leaves to get his pizza. Mike puts taquitos into oven. Discussion about taquitos being small tacos ensues. 2 minute warning.

----Commercial Break #14----
Batman begins
Batmobile is very ugly
-4 Chinchillas

Lots of people are Diana Pearl
INCLUDING DITKA +1 BONUS
...but also Rodman in a bathtub
-4 Chinchillas

Guy dances, guy hits on girl
-5 Chinchillas

United Way
-5 Chinchillas
--------------------

Patriots in scoring position again. Touchdown. Extra point good. Score: 7-7.
Injury? Yes. Andy comes back with pizza. Comments on crazy high amount of employees inside Papa John's. End of second quarter, first half, third sixth. Halftime begins. Aaron returns with Taquitos.

----Commercial Break #15----
Pirates!
Aaron guesses Capital One
Jon guesses Visa
Turns out to be Daytona 500
-4 Chinchillas

--Local commercials--
-5 Chinchillas each

Ford Focus: so crappy, you'll only buy it for the free computer.
--------------------
Halftime. Probably no good commercials here so we're taking a break.

Halftime ended. Apparently the game has been going on for 4 minutes. We were watching the Terry Tate Office Linebacker commercial from two years ago.
NE scores, extra point good. Score:

----Commercial Break #16----
Repeat of dancing people commercial
-5 Chinchillas

Hot girl. Hot sauce. Girl has reverse tan line.
3 Chinchillas

Robots movie
-100

Fingerprints on trophy
-5 Chinchillas

Fox shameless self-promotion, also claiming that commercial time is expensive
-5 Chinchillas
--------------------

Kickoff.

----Commercial Break #17----
People clapping ... for soldiers
apparently a Bush commercial
-6 Commercial

Napster
$15 for a million billion songs (per month)
-5 Chinchillas
--------------------

45 yard return NO GOOD BECAUSE

----Commercial Break #18----
People press "easy" button... for life.
1 Chinchilla

Cat spills marinara sauce
Girl walks in, looks like guy killed cat
BECAUSE OF SAUCE ALL OVER
3 Chinchillas

Monkeys in suits again
guy sits on WHOOPEE CUSHION!!
1 Chinchilla
--------------------

----Commercial Break #19----
War of the Worlds
-4 Chinchillas

Old people kissing
Cialis! Much like the e-mails I get!
-5 Chinchillas
--------------------

Touchdown Eagles. Extra point good. Score: NE 14, PHI 14.

----Commercial Break #20----
Belts. Honda.
-5 Chinchilas

Small Kid Rock under vehicle
Small girl blown by blow dryer
-3 Chinchillas

New Dome for Colts?
-200 Chinchillas
--------------------

2 Minute warning of 3rd quarter. 3rd quarter ends.

----Commercial Break #21----
HAMMERTIME!
MC Hammer dancing - 15 minutes later - bankrupt!
2 Chinchillas

Girl choosing clothing while guy listens to Eric Clapton
-4 Chinchillas

Bank now different bank
-5 Chinchillas
--------------------

Touchdown New England. Extra point good. Score: NE 21, PHI 14

----Commercial Break #22----
Things moving but not going anywhere - neato
Single car is moving and going somewhere
0 Chinchillas

House... teevee show.
-5 Chinchillas
--------------------

Announcer: "If you were an orange foam pylon, that's what it would look like." PYLON CAM!
Eagles punt.

----Commercial Break #23----
Budweiser announces Bud Select
-5 Chinchillas

Count Chocula, Green Giant, Mr. Clean ... AND MORE. Eating.
-3 Chinchillas

American Idol
-5 Chinchillas
--------------------

5 minutes elapsed in 4 quarter.

----Commercial Break #24----
Guy shares nuts because Santa and Easter bunny tell him to
-4 Chinchillas

People in bar. DD.
-5 Chinchillas

Monkeys in suits!! Monkeys flip out at guy!!
0 Chinchillas
--------------------

Field goal NE. Score: NE 24, PHI 14

----Commercial Break #25----
Super bowl deeveedees
-5 Chinchillas

Simple Life: Interns
-5 Chinchillas

NFL Network
-5 Chinchillas
--------------------

Philadelphia challenges a pass completion (refs originally say incomplete).
Unbelievable catch by an Eagle, even though Eagles don't have hands.
Mike talks about how diarrhea girl is attractive on Pepto-Bismol commercial.

----Commercial Break #26----
Sahara. Movie
-4 Chinchillas

Puff Daddy drives Pepsi truck. RERUN
-5 Chinchilla

Simpsons Halftime D'oh RERUN
-5 Chinchillas
--------------------

2 Minute warning.
HUGE pass for Philadelphia - touchdown. Extra point good. Score: NE 24, PHI 21
Patriots punt. 46 seconds remain. Interception by Patriots. Announcer says the D word... Dynasty.

GAME OVER.

Final score:
New England Patriots: 24
Philadelphia Eagles: 21

The coin toss was... WRONG?!?!? Sad day.
In addition, there were no 5 Chinchilla commercials.

----Final Commercial Break---
Blockbuster RERUN
-5 Chinchillas

24 teevee show
Guy says nucular instead of nuclear
-5 Chinchillas

American Idol
-5 Chinchillas

Ford Focus RERUN
-5 Chinchillas

Girl looking at dresses RERUN
-5 Chinchillas

----"Bonus" Commercial Break----
Girl steals car
Dad doesn't care that daughter is getting married as long as she doesn't use his car
-5 Chinchillas

Napster RERUN
-5 Chinchillas

Guy playing with angry snake
-3 Chinchillas

Guys eating hot food and steaming up car windows RERUN
-5 Chinchillas

THE END

-tim

edit: FedEx Kinko's' "Top 10" Commercial was determined the winner and upgraded to 5 Chinchillas


Overall rating:

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