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A review of SUPERBOWL XL Commercials (in the category of Television)
by: tim

SUPERBOWL XL

As always, OaE will bring you all of your Superbowl needs, where every commercial is very briefly summarized and rated, and major events in the game are mentioned. Ratings are on a scale of -5 to 5 Chinchillas, where negative is bad and positive is good. If you want an example of what's going down, here are the posts from previous years: 2005 2004 2003

This year, the Superbowl will be airing Sun., Feb. 5 at 6 p.m. ET on ABC.

Pre-bowl predictions:
Jon: There will be 5-blade shaver commercials.

Past MVPs were announced, inluding from DA BEARS (Superbowl XX).

----1st Commercial Break----
Arthritis commercial, Aleve. Guy dances with old ladies.
-4 cinchillas

Giant hamster talks to Ronald McDonald
3 Chinchillas

Semi carrying gigantic can of Full Throttle. Lots of people follow it. Shark. Bear.
1 Chinchilla

Blockbuster Online. BORING
-5 Chinchillas

ABC shameless self-promotion: Sons & Daughter
-4 Chinchillas
---------------

Seahawks come out to Bittersweet Symphony. Steelers come out to ... ? Steelers have better entrance. Flags, National Anthem. Aaron Neville (sucks) & Aretha Franklin (better). Condoleeza Rice!

----2nd Commercial Break----
Movie ad. Click.
0 Chinchillas

Tostitos.One guy working and the rest standing around. Not new! (though tim had not seen it before)
-1 Chinchilla

Cheesy Bite Poppers with Jessica Simpson.
-2 Chinchillas

SBC & AT&T. Not new. Boring. Automatic -5
-5 Chinchillas

Football players practice saying "I'm going to Disneyworld." Dreams come true.
1 Chinchilla

Harrison Forl and Dr. Seuss. He looks weird with facial hair. 'Oh, the Places You'll Go.' They changed the words! This is way too long. Andy: "This commercial sucks, now I will go suck balls" (rhyming with what they were saying)
-3 Chinchillas
---------------

Madden says that quarterback needs to throw the ball. GENIUS.
Crowd boos Tom Brady. Coin toss! This will determine the winner of the game. Seahawks call tails. It is tails. Seahawks are going to win.

----3rd Commercial Break----
BLOCKBUSTER ONLINE AGAIN. Automatic loss of one Chinchilla.
-6 Chinchillas
------------------

Steelers kick off.
Seahawks punt.

----4th Commercial Break----
Guys in elevator, Bud Light hidden in office
1 Chinchilla

Girls wearing food costumes. Burger King "Ask the freaky king for a Whopper your way." Girls stack to make burger. Weird. Good in some ways and bad in others.
0 Chinchillas
-------------------

Steelers punt. This guy has never had a punt blocked.

----5th Commercial Break----
Metal detector thingy, security makes sound when scanning Sierra Mist and confiscate it.
2 Chinchillas

Man installs secret revolving wall. Guys on other side steal beer. Guys bow down to "Magic fridge."
3 Chinchillas

Bruce Willis in something. Andy "tim, this is the best one yet because Bruce Willis."
Automatic 3 Chinchillas
--------------

Andy: "So when is Keith Richards going to die?" Mike continues Italian beef preparation. Pass went straight to a Steeler and he failed to intercept. Seahawks punt.

----6th Commercial Break----
Toyota. Child asks why guy has a hybrid car.
-2 Chinchillas

Caveman ties stick to flying dinosaur, T-rex bites it. Guy fired for not using FedEx even though it doesn't exist. Kicks smaller dino and then is stepped on by giant elephant foot.
3 Chinchillas

Bear chases guys, guy gives Bud Light to bear to stop him, other guy takes it and runs.
4 Chinchillas
--------------

Steelers punt.

----7th Commercial Break----
V for Vendetta (movie)
-4 Chinchillas

Puff Daddy wants to make a deal with Diet Pepsi. Jon "this commercial is about 30 seconds too long"
-5 Chinchillas

ABC shameless self-promotion
-5 Chinchillas

Long hair Steelers player talks about things.
-5 Chinchillas
---------------

HUGE pass by Seahawks, but no touchdown thanks to penalty. Also because they are using a new ball every play. Mike: "I blame the ball." Field goal good! Seahawks 3-0.

----8th Commercial Break----
Mr. Nemoy does had thingy. Had to take Aleve to do it. Andy: "That's AWESOME. That's the best commercial yet." I disagree.
2 Chinchillas

Ameriquest: Guys in hospital kill a fly with a defibulator, fly falls onto guy's chest. "Well, that killed him." Wife and child walk in, horrified.
5 Chinchillas

Guys go on roof whilst "repairing" things (aka drinking beer). Guy goes up to fix a leak (f'real) and falls through the roof. Toolbox falls on his head.
4 Chinchillas

ABC shameless self-promotion (Lost)
-5 Chinchillas
---------------

End of first quarter. Seahawks 3-0

----9th Commercial Break----
Jackie Chan wants to make a movie with Diet Pepsi. Diet Coke is used as stunt double.
1 Chinchilla

Cars (movie). Rusty car "she just likes me for my body."
0 Chinchillas

ABC Shameless self-promotion
-5 Chinchillas

SBC AT&T (repeat)
-6 Chinchillas
----------------

Steelers punt. Good return by Seahawks. Announcers circle guy in audience using pen thingy.
Seahawks punt.

----10th Commercial Break----
Horses playing football. Other animals watching - shaved lamb is a streaker.
2 Chinchillas

Sports stuff happening around guy using cell phone. Mobile ESPN
-5 Chinchillas

ABC shameless self-promotion 'Grey's Anatomy'
-5 Chinchillas
----------------

Nothing happens

----11th Commercial Break----
Monkeys in office. Hold chart wrong way to make sales appear to be up, guy corrects them. Monkeys make him turn it back and dance.
-2 Chinchillas

Escalade comes out of water during fashion show.
-5 Chinchillas

Halftime show ad
-5 Chinchillas
----------------

Interception! Seahawks now have the ball.

----12th Commercial Break----
Mission Impossible 3
-3 Chinchillas

Kids sing "True Colors."
-5 Chinchillas

ABC Shameless self-promotion: The Evidence
-5 Chinchillas
---------------

We eat Italian beef & pause when commercials start. Jon: "We can just fast forward through the game."

----13th Commercial Break----
Tim Allen in The Shaggy Dog
-4 Chinchillas

Kermit - It's not easy being green. Ford Hybrid SUV. "I guess it is easy being green."
2 Chinchillas

Guy NAILS girl whilst playing football. Then guy gets NAILED back whilst sitting in a bar.
4 Chinchillas

Shaq and something to do with Desperate Housewives.
-5 Chinchillas
-------------

Steelers get very close to scoring on 1st down & 30 yard line. SACK. HUGE pass - Steelers with under 10 yards left to score. Timeout Steelers.

----14th Commercial Break----
GoDaddy.com, girl's tank top strap breaks & they tell you to go to the web site
-3 Chinchillas
---------------

2 minute warning.

----15th Commercial Break----
Poseidon. Movie. Andy:"That movie looks good." Mike:"No it doesn't."
-5 Chinchillas

THE MIRACLE OF FUSION. UNIQUE IDEA. GILETTE FUSION - 5 BLADES. Best shave ever.
1 Chinchilla

REPEAT (Shaq & DH)
-6 Chinchillas
---------------

Steelers dive to the goal line for a touchdown. Challenged by guys in box. 5 seconds had passed in the game between commercials.

----16th Commercial Break----
Things change color from white to red. Overstock.com. Make the O part of your life. It's all about the O.
-5 Chinchillas
----------------

Referee has only 23% rate of overturned calls in 3 years. Ruling stands - Steelers touchdown & make extra point. It was a very good dive nd therefore they deserve it. Score: Steelers 7-3.

0 seconds passed in the game.

----17th Commercial Break----
Old Disney Commercial (50 year anniversary)
-5 Chinchillas
-----------

Steelers kick off. Timeout Seahawks. Sponsor listing break thing - NOT commercial break. Seahawks throw big pass, guy catches it and goes out of bounds, only putting one foot in bounds. Mike: "Not even close." Announcer: "Very close." Timeout Steelers (Seahawks were seemingly wasting time). Seahawks catch the ball out of bounds again. 54 yard field goal missed, bounced off of outside of field goal post.

======HALFIME======
Steelers 7 - Seahawks 3
==================

----18th Commercial Break----
Guys brag about their Spring phones. Guy says his has crime deterrent - throws phone at face!
4 Chinchillas

NFL Network - Fans wearing BEARS clothes (also others)- Automatic 5 Chinchillas
5 Chinchillas

Famous people talking about Desperate Housewives
-5 Chinchillas

Kid on tire swing hits guy
0 Chinchillas

Guy puts spacers between lots of items at grocery store
-4 Chinchillas
---------------

Halftime show. There are commercial breaks but they do not count.

----19th Commercial Break----
"I'm going to Disneyworld" repeat
-5 Chinchillas
---------------

Seahawks kick off to Steelers. Madden: "They'd better stop popping." GIGANTIC run by Steelers - DIVE for touchdown (22 seconds). YES. That is the correct way to get a touchdown. Extra point good. Steelers 14-3.

----20th Commercial Break----
Lady on plane trying to get by, gets knocked on top of guy due to plane movement
-2 Chinchillas

Rocks. Ice. "PEBL" (cell phone)
-5 Chinhillas

Guy in pirate uniform has problems with hook for hand - Sharpie Retractable
2 Chinchillas (+1 Chinchilla for use of Pirate) = 3 Chinchillas

ABC shameless self-promotion
-5 Chinchilla
----------------

75 yard run by Steelers that happened before commercial was a new record for a TD run in a Superbowl (old record: 74 yards). Seahawks go for 50-yard field goal. No good.

----21st Commercial Break----
Horses. Large horses help small horse pull cart. Guy to dog: "I won't tell if you don't."
1 Chinchilla

Fabio! Jon: "Is he ever not in a Superbowl commercial run?" Turns out to be an old guy or something.
1 Chinchilla

Old Browns fan:"If you wanted the score of the game, you did it the old-fashioned way: you went on the internet!
1 Chinchilla
--------------

----22nd Commercial Break----
Giant thing smashes buildings and falls in love with giant robot, becomes pregnant, has a baby which turns out to be a H3 Hummer.
3 Chinchillas

People wearing biohazard suits. Turns out that it's not a good way to stay away from bacteria. PS stuff is, though.
-4 Chinchillas

ABC shameless self-promotion.
-5 Chinchillas
------------

Seahawks intercept intended touchdown pass by Steelers!! CLUTCH. TOUCHDOWN Seahawks (after a couple plays). Extra point good. No question about it - that was the biggest momentum shift of the game. Steelers 14-10

----23rd Commercial Break----
Guy works in office with monkeys. Lady works with jackasses. (Good twist)
0 Chinchillas

Guy eats TacoBell Crunch Wrap Supreme to impress girl or something.
-4 Chinchillas

Slim-Fast hunger control
-5 Chinchillas

ABC Shameless self-promotion. Grilling. "You don't touch another man's meat!"
-4 Chinchillas
--------------

Another record! Longest interception return in a Superbowl. Seahawks kick off to Steelers.
Steelers punt. Madden asks about taking a player's pants off.

----24th Commercial Break----
Gilette Fusion repeat. Real rating comes now.
-3 Chinchillas

The World's Fastest Indian (movie)
-3 Chinchillas

Truck tumbled around by waves but is okay.
-3 Chinchillas
--------------

Seahawks punt. Bibble arrives, goes into room and listens to music. Meanwhile, Andy and Mike are playing an RPG on a computer. Katie has left.
Steelers punt. 2-minute warning in the 3rd quarter.
Madden: "Bootleg, blah blah blah blah bootleg." Jon: "How many times is he going to say bootleg?" Madden: "blah blah blah, bootleg. dododo bootleg."
End of 3rd quarter. Score: Steelers 14-10.

----25th Commercial Break----
Guy has songs on his phones "for everything." For girlfriend dumping him. For winning lottery. (Couch lights on fire). For couch lighting on fire. Yakkity Sax (Benny Hill theme). They run in fast motion around the couch & people appear to also run.
4 Chinchillas

Local commercials, repeats.
-5 Chinchillas
--------------

4th Quarter begins. Seahawks make it to 1 yard from goal, but holding is called. Sack next play. They are back to the 34 yard line. Interception by Steelers at the 5 yard line!

----26th Commercial Break----
Every day live as an action movie (guys jump out of windows and hold on to helicopters to go to work). Degree for men: 3x the power for men who take 3x the risks.
4 Chinchillas

Emerald Nuts - something with machete enthusiasts.
0 Chinchillas

Paul McCartney. Something about investments.
-5 Chinchillas

ABC shameless self-promotion - Lost & Legal.
-5 Chinchillas
-------------

AWESOME 43-yard pass for touchdown by Steelers ("gadget"). Extra point good. Score: Steelers 21-10.

----27th Commercial Break----
People hold up signs in crowd to make a Budweiser pour into a glass.
2 Chinchillas

Pirates of Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (regular commercial, though I hadn't seen it before)
2 Chinchillas

MacGyver! (regular commercial, I saw this on the internet)
4 Chinchillas after penalty
-------------

The last play was the first touchdown pass thrown by a wide receiver in a Superbowl game. Steelers kick off to Seahawks.
Seahawks QB makes a good run, falls and potentially fumbles. Steelers recover and get ball. Play is challenged.

----28th Commercial Break----
Sportshaven REPEAT
-6 Chinchillas

Truck flap girl comes off and looks at a truck, gets in a Yosemete Sam is driving.
1 Chinchilla

People from around the world say toasts... cheers.
-4 Chinchillas

Jimmy Kimmel ABC shameless self-promotion
-5 Chinchillas
------------

Call is reversed - Seahawks keep ball. QB was down by contact. Another play is made and a Steeler player's helmet pops off. Seahawks punt.

----29th Commercial Break----
World Baseball classic
-5 Chinchillas

GoDaddy.com REPEAT
0 Chinchillas

Local commercials, Indy 500
-5 Chinchillas
------------

Madden: "It's always the umpire. When there's a brawl, the umpire is the first to jump in." (The head referee jumped on top of some players when they were fighting for the ball or something.)
Seattle uses timeout. No commercial break. Jon: "They're out of commercials."
Rothlisberger may be the youngest QB to win a Superbowl. Madden: "Getting to the Superbowl is one thing. Winning the Superbowl is what you need to do."
2-minute warning. Steelers still up by 11.

----30th Commercial Break----
Running Scared (movie)
-4 Chinchillas

Outback. Guy talking about food. Tries to steal boomerang. "Think about it. Outback has boomerangs - they come back. Both times I was thrown out of Outback I came back."
1 Chinchilla

Westing non-smoking something
-5 Chinchillas

ABC shameless self-promotion - Grey's Anatomy
-5 Chinchillas

Guy delivers pizza and is hugged
-5 Chinchillas
-------------

Steelers punt.
Seahawks hurry up, trying to score. Miss a pass during 4th down, 3 seconds remain. Steelers coach begins to celebrate.
Jon: "They didn't show him getting drenched in Gatorade! Someone's getting fire for missing that shot."

Steelers win. Coin toss was... WRONG??!?

Final Score: Pittsburgh Steelers: 21 - Seattle Seahawks: 10

Overall, this year was better than last. There were a handful of good commercials. All agree that the first Ameriquest commercial was the best of the Superbowl (where the fly is killed with the defibulator)

I'd like to thank Mike for letting me use his laptop to make this post.


Overall rating:

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