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A review of SUPERBOWL XXXVII Commercials (in the category of Television)
by: tim

Not-So Superbowl XXXVII
Why Are There So Many Commercials?

All commercials are rated on a scale of -5 to 5 Chinchillas, with -5 being bad, and 5 being good.
First Commercial Break:
Honda Element: Sucky except guy getting hit in head by frisbee
- Rating: -1 Chinchillas
ESPN: Awful. People yelling at teevee happens all the time!
- Rating: -5 Chinchillas
Bruce Willis Movie: Guaranteed to be bad because of Bruce Willis
- Rating: -4 Chinchillas
McDonalds: Guys sitting on couches, mom gets McD's or something
- Rating: -4 Chinchillas
Jimmy Kimmel Live: Regular Commercial
- Rating: -4 Chinchillas
Dragnet: It's got Al Bundy! That deserves at least -1.
- Rating: -1 Chinchillas

Celine Dion (a Canadian) sings "God Bless America."
etc.

Second Commercial Break:
Honda Element #2: Snowboarding! Guy falls... pretty good. Not as good as frisbee though
- Rating: -2 Chinchillas
Tennis Commerical: Andre Ag... something vs. Some guy. BORING!
- Rating: -4 Chinchillas
PSX: Pizza - good. He got hit! heh heh. There's lots of potential for better ones though
- Rating: 2 Chinchillas
Pizza Hut: Pizzas are the same as wedding rings!
- Rating: -2 Chinchillas
Movie- David Gale: Man is innocent, but must uncover truth. blah blah
- Rating: -4 Chinchillas
ABC commercial: TV shows "SUPER monday" but not really super. Bad news.
- Rating: -5 Chinchillas
NFL/RCA: Got the RCA dogs, those are pretty cool, I guess
- Rating: -4 Chinchillas

Coin Toss: I say heads. Raiders says heads. Result: Tails. Raiders will lose. Coin toss says it all.

Third Commercial Break:
Financial Portfolio: Guy running, guy in pool: good.
- tim: -3 Chinchillas
- Matt: -2 Chinchillas

Kickoff, etc.
Bucs QB throws interception during second play, not including kickoff.

Fourth Commercial Break:
Horses Running, rewinding... zebra referee. Not a jackass!
- Rating: -2 Chinchillas
Chrysler Crossfile: someone singing
- Rating: -4 Chinchillas
Quiznos: Thinks about subs so much... not wearing pants!
- Rating: 0 Chinchillas

Bucs did not fumble according to tim. Play challenged, reviewed. Refs say: not fumble. Madden explains how instant replays work.
Apparently the game is 3-0, Raiders with lead.
Game tied at 3-3.

Fifth Commercial Break:
Pepsi Twist: The Osbornes actually the Osmonds
- Rating: -1 Chinchillas
FedEx: GPS system in package
- Rating: 3 Chinchillas

Nothing happens.

Sixth Commercial Break:
The Hulk Movie: Breaks stuff - tips over tank!
- Rating: -1 Chinchillas
Bud Light: Fans stealing Bud Light
- Rating: 1 Chinchilla
Dodge Ram: Man choking, uses RAM to unlodge
- Rating: -1 Chinchillas

First punt of game.

Seventh Commercial Break:
The Matrix: woo!
- Rating: 1 Chinchilla
Gatorade: Michael Jordan plays with himself
- Rating: -4 Chinchillas
Sportscenter: in kitchen, guy says bling bling
- Rating: -3 Chinchillas

Punt to Raiders.

Eighth Commercial Break:
Anger Management: decent.
- Rating: -3 Chinchillas
H&R Block: Willie Nelson's face burns!
- Rating: -4 Chinchillas
Bud Light: Handstand clown suit gets an ice old Bud Light. Asks for hotdog later. Oh man!!
- Rating: 4 Chinchillas
The Quest: something
- Rating: -5 Chinchillas

Punt to Bucs.
DRINKING BIRD IS DYING!
Punt to Raiders.

Ninth Commercial Break:
VISA: Yao. Yo?
- Rating: -4 Chinchillas
Drug moneys supports bad stuffs
- Rating: -6 Chinchillas
Hockey & Bowling: Hawaii running in slow motion
- Rating: -1 Chinchillas
Financial Center: BORING!
- Rating: -5 Chinchillas
Nightcast
- Rating: -5 Chinchillas

We leave, come back.
Madden comments on calcium deposits. Probably talking about Purdue water.
Johnson to Johnson!
6-3 Tampa Bay

Tenth Commercial Break:
Bud Light: Guy gets big afro and puts dog in it.
- Rating: 1 Chinchilla
Daredevil: Movie looks like ripoff of several other movies
- Rating: -4 Chinchillas
Monster.com: Guy with lots of drinking birds!!! Big truck smashes through stuff.
- Rating: 2 Chinchillas

Nothing happens.

Eleventh Commercial Break:
Sierra Mist: Guy hit by fire hydrant water
- Rating: 0 Chinchillas
Hanes No Tag: Jackie Chan and MJ
- Rating: -3 Chinchillas
Anti-Smoking: Baseball, kids grow up
- Rating: -5 Chinchillas
Alias: Alias girl in lingerie attacks guy or something
- Rating: -1 Chinchillas

Bucs intercept pass.

Twelvth Commercial Break:
Sierra Mist: Zoo, monkeys use teeter totter to get into polar bear area.
- Rating: 1 Chinchilla
Trident: Dentist gets bit by squirrel
- Rating: 2 Chinchillas
Bud Light: Dorky guy puts shell by head, crab gets him
- Rating: 2 Chinchillas
Mircales
- Rating: -5 Chinchillas

Turnover on downs, Raiders with ball.
Madden calls #99 on Bucs a cheerleader.
Raiders punt.
Touchdown, Extra Point Bucs (3-13)

Thirteenth Commercial Break:
Bad Boys 2: I like cars.
- Rating: -3 Chinchillas
Budweister: Guy talks in mirror, expects worst. Girl suggests dating both her and roommate.
- Rating: 1 Chinchilla
VISA Check Card: Twin guys or something. BOOOO
- Rating: -8 Chinchillas
Dragnet: More Al Bundy! Novelty wearing off.
- Rating: -2 Chinchillas

Raiders punt.
DRINKING BIRD IS DEAD!!! RIP 1-26-3 (7:44pm)

Fourteenth Commercial Break:
Terminator 3:
- Rating: -3 Chinchillas
Levis: Buffalo stampede. People face buffalo but don't get hit for some reason. What would make this commercial better: Buffalo should run faster, also hit the people.
- Rating: -4 Chinchillas
ABC: I am a celebrity, get me out of here. Probably supposed to be funny. Is not.
- Rating: -5 Chinchillas

Mike explains idea of Pizza Day.
Timeout Bucs.

Fifteenth Commercial Break:
mLife: Gilligan's Island. Gilligan has cel phone with coast guard on speed dial.
- Tim: 0 Chinchillas
- Matt: 1
- Mike: 0

Touchdown, Extra Point Tampa Bay (3-20)

Sixteenth Commercial Break:
NFL: Guy explains crazy being an art form. Guy is wrong.
- Rating: -13 Chinchillas
Jimmel Kimmel: It's Expealadocious!
- Rating: 1 Chinchilla
The Practice
- Rating: -5 Chinchillas
Chevy: Normal commercial... or is it? Saying all the really good deals! (for GM employees)
- Rating: 4 Chinchillas
Papa John's: Cinnaple
- Rating: -4 Chinchillas
Nightcast
- Rating: -5 Chinchillas

Halftime: Halftime show sucked. (posted 8:03pm)
Not watching halftime commercials.
Mike says Shania Twain looks evil, tim says evil is good. Matt says screen being part of stage is awesome. All agree.
DRINKING BIRD IS POSSIBLY SAVED!! (8:27pm)
The game's back on, I guess.
DRINKING BIRD IS COMPLETELY RESURRECTED THANKS TO MAXI-CURE SUPER GLUE!!

Eighteenth Commercial Break:
Bruce Almighty: Jim Carey make fire hyrdant explode - delicious pun! It's symbolism
- Rating: 4 Chinchillas
Diet Pepsi: Return of the mudmen!! aaah
- Rating: -4 Chinchillas
Yahoo: People singing Rainbow Connection
- Rating: -3 Chinchillas
Alias: More Alias Clips
- Rating: -1 Chinchillas

Not paying attention to football game, playing punk covers of "Rainbow Connection."
Paying attention again, nice pass (8:45pm).
Touchdown, extra point Buccaneers (3-27)

Ninteenth Commercial Break:
Bud Light: Skinny waist up, huge from waist down. heh heh
- Rating: 3 Chinchillas
Subway: something with Gerad
- Rating: -8 Chinchillas
Charlie's Angels 2: Now with guns!
- Rating: -4 Chinchillas

Nothing happens.

Ninteenth Commercial Break:
Cadillac: Led Zeppelin song. Caddys are no longer Caddys.
- Rating: -4 Chinchillas
Miracles
- Rating: -5 Chinchillas

Interception Buccaneers, touchdown!! 44 yard interception return! Extra point (3-34).

Twentieth Commercial Break:
Anti-Drug: Pregnancy test.
- Rating: -5 Chinchillas
Movie commercial
- Rating: -4 Chinchillas (he mentioned Nintendo)
George Foreman Grill - People all over the world use it!
- Rating: -3 Chinchillas
Are You Hot? - Who cares if people do good stuff?
- Rating: -4 Chinchillas

Nothing Happened.

Twenty-First Commercial Break:
Reebok: Terry Tate: Office Linebacker (football player whomps business people)
- Rating: 5 Chinchillas
Bud Light: Third arm
- Rating: 0 Chinchillas

---tim messed up something so a set of commercials, etc. got deleted---
4 or 5 commercials belong here.

Raiders block punt, touchdown (15-34).

Twenty-Third Commercial Break
Girl talks to guy, guy hears football! She calls him good listener.
- Rating: 3 Chinchillas
People want Berry Sanders back
- Rating: -4 Chinchillas
Caddy knocks sign over from being so fast.
- Rating: -4 Chinchillas
Alias: Looks can kill.
- Rating: -1 Chinchillas

Doing homework

Twenty-Fourth Commercial Break:
Missed first commercial
mlife: This phone is worth diddly squat
- Rating: 0 Chinchillas
Jimmy Kimmel Live: Lose Carrot Boy
- Rating: -1 Chinchillas

Twenty-Fifth Commercial Break:
Designated Driver: Drop of some guy first
- Rating: -5 Chinchillas
MasterCard: Debit Cards. Leaving cash at home: priceless.
- Rating: -5 Chinchillas
AOL = gAyOL
- Rating: -5 Chinchillas
Three's Company is back
- Rating: -1 Chinchillas
According to Jim: Farts - The Universal Language
- Rating: 1 Chinchillas

48 yard touchdown Raiders, challenged 2-point conversion, no dice (21-34). He was pushed out and apparently you can't challenge a force out.

Twenty-Sixth Commercial Break:
myfico.com: Loans. BORING!
- Rating: -5 Chinchillas
Osbournes: DVD
- Rating: -4 Chinchillas
Dragnet: Novelty still wearing off
- Rating: -3 Chinchillas

Oakland is out of timeouts. Bucs punt, no punt block.

Twenty-Seventh Commercial Break:
Michelob: Beer and running fit together! Hilarity ensues.
- Rating: -2 Chinchillas
Tennis thingy, one master.
- Rating: -6 Chinchillas

Interception, touchdown Buccaneers. Extra point (21-41).
Interception, touchdown Buccaneers - high legging!!! (21-48) Oh man.
- Rating: 4 Chinchillas

Final score: Tampa Bay Buccaneers 48, Oakland Raiders 21

"Final" Commercial Break:
Bud Light: Guys assisting in yoga or something like that
- Rating: 3 Chinchillas
Hanes: Jackie Chan & MJ
- Rating: -5 Chinchillas
Lamisil: BORING
- Rating: -5 Chinchillas
Monster.com: DRINKING BIRDS again! Don't forget the truck bashing through things.
- Rating: 4 Chinchillas

Overall, I would rate the commercials as disappointing. Not appointing at all.


Overall rating:

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